June 11, 2012 was our first ultrasound appointment.
And boy was I a nervous wreak.
I sat there after waiting for a little bit and said this to Robby..
"I think it's okay if we go now.. I'm sure I'm fine!"
He smiled and started rubbing my back.. assuring me everything was going to be fine.
And it was.
Robby saw the heartbeat right away, but it took a second for me to see the heartbeat because the lovely Traci (our ultrasound tech who I just LOVE) was measuring my uterus.. or at least that's what I think she was doing. What do I know? haha.
I finally saw the little bitty heart beating. The little heart was beating 162bpm. I was in shock. Could this be? Are we really going to have a baby this time around?
We were extremely happy and felt blessed beyond measure.
The second appointment was on June 25th.
Robby was working offshore so my mom and dad came with me to my appointment.
My mom wasn't sure about going because she was hurt and distraught from my first experience back in 2011.
When I saw the baby on the screen I knew instantly that something was wrong.
No heartbeat once again.
What a devastating experience this was... again!
And without my husband there..
Even worse.
I won't go into detail with this miscarriage and with my d&c experience since I haven't even finished my blog entries for my first miscarriage but let's just say that this has been extremely hard for Robby and I to go through. Especially since we heard a heartbeat. We are now waiting for July 30th to roll around so we can see what the doctor has to say about the fetus testing. We are praying and hoping for good results. If the fetus testing comes out normal than they will do some testing on me.
I'm about to go buy a journal just so I can write down everything I've had/have to go through.
My children better appreciate me! ;)
Aww Brooke! I'm sooo sorry! I seriously can't even imagine what you are going through!! Let me know if you need anything! What a trial to deal with. You guys are in my prayers!
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ReplyDeleteMy name is Aldís. i saw your blog when i wash on google looking for somthing about a babylose.
I know exactly how you feel about this i have lost a to little Angels first time in oktober 2011 on week 13 and now in june on week 17.
i just wanted to say that you can email me if you want to talk :) aldisstella@gmail.com
That is extremely sweet of you! Thank you SO much. I love talking to people who have gone through the same thing as me because they know exactly how I feel. Thank you again! :) Have a great day/night!
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